14:26 - Friday, May. 18, 2007
Wake Up Call
I am feeling a little better as the days have gone by. Quite a bit better today, since I have filled a bit of a sense of accomplishment. I felt to guilty for not doing much of anything at home for a week and we are really on crunch time right now, so, even though I was super tired when I got home from work yesteray & was still all stuffed up & felt like crap, I got home at noon & got right at it.
I went into my bedroom so i could at least have the TV on and started in on my armoir & closet. I went through all of my clothes & sorted everything to have only what I needed for the next month. Boy, was that a wake-up call. I had to try things on to see if they fit.. and sadly, not a lot of it did. It got more & more depressing as the pile of too-small clothes grew bigger & bigger. God, I have gained so much weight over the years & every year seems to be more than the previous. I moved to Winnipeg in September of 2001 and I think I was about 135 lbs. I thought I was fat then, but what I would give now to be that size again! I am not about 165... depending on the day, sometimes a scale might say 160 or 170... That is 30 pounds in about 5 and a half years. YUCK! At that rate, what will I look like at 35, or 40 or 50??? YUCK! I am just disgusted with my stomach. I could pass as a pregnant person easily - no wonder Hank's Grandma asked me that a year or so ago! I packed up a huge box of clothes that are either too small, slightly damaged, or I just don't wear anymore. I am okay with that, it was time to clean house. I gave some to my friend CFour & if AhSatan wants to come & go through it she is welcome, I am happy to pass it along... otherwise it'll go to the diabetes foundation, they'll pick it up. But then there was another fair sized box of clothes that don't fit me any more but I just can't part with. I spent good money on them & they are nice clothes, but I just can't squeeze my lard-ass into them anymore. I am keeping them hoping I can do something about this & wear them again someday. I do also have a problem with being lazy & throwing things into the dryer (the shitty 1969 dryer we have that has like no settings other than hot) and shrinking them, so that doesn't help. Can't wait to get a new washer & dryer in the new house...
Anyway, I do hope this summer and the new house will bring positive life change for me. I hope I can start walking a lot. Frankie will love it, and it will be fun to explore the new neighbourhood. Also, I have a big kitchen now that I won't hate cooking in like the tiny one I am in now, so maybe I can start to feed us healthier & better. Also, the beer intake will be less too, since we won't be able to afford it so much, so all of those things should help.
Anyway, I also packed up a big box of winter stuff & dresses etc., anything I won't need over the next month. Packed up some bedding & went through my closet... put in a good days & evenings work in that room & feel pretty good about that.
I will be going home right after work to get back at it. This weekend I plan to giv'er hard, Hank too & get lots done & feel good about it. Also, we'll need to get out of the house a little so we don't go crazy, so I have planned for us to go shopping tomorrow to look at washers & dryers and kitchen chairs & a coffee table & a bedroom suite & a freezer. So we talked about it yesterday & he didn't say much to make me think he wasn't in on that plan, but...
This morning I messaged him that we would plan to do that in the morning. He is all like, "not bloody likely - I have shit to do in the house etc." I am not impressed. He didn't get sweet fuck all done this week and suddenly he has no time to spare on Saturday because he has to get work done. I mean, yes, it needs to be done, but if he is that pressed for time to do it he should have been on it this week too so he could spare some time for this tomorrow too. I tired to explain it would only be a couple of hours and this needs to be done too, but he's kind of being an ass about it... I just know he hates shopping so is making excuses, but I would like his input on this, and plus, I a am not about to take the bus to all these places all day.
So then he messages me that I am supposed to call him Mom on my break. He said he didn't know why. I found out later that was bullshit...
I skip having lunch to give her a call. She is offering to take me out to do this shopping so he can get to work on the house etc. So obviously (and I confirmed when I called him that) he called her today & they talked he told her I wanted him to go shopping & that he didn't want to because he had all this work to do etc. So it makes me look like I've been holding him back from this & I am so pissed off right now. Sure, I appreciate her offer, but it's the point that he called his Mommy and made me look like ... I dunno... argh... I am just so frustrated. I might go with her tomorrow. I told him fine, if he doesn't want to have any input on what I buy & won't take the time to shop with me, then he better be working on that house every friggen second that he has left until it's ready to list.
Ugh, there is just so much to do yet... I don't know how the hell we are going to have it listed before we move. He has got the ceiling up & has been working on the mudding and sanding, but we still need to paint it & put the moldings up. Then we have to rip out the bathroom floor tiles & put in some linoleum or something. Then there's closet doors to be installed & a front door. The rest of the house & yard needs to be cleaned and packed & the garage.. oh God, the garage... don't even get me started. I can't wait until this is all over & I don't want to move for many many years!!!
I also emailed Weathergeek to see if he can/wants to go out to the place he says he can get a good deal on this weekend to see what they have to offer & maybe do lunch... Hopefully that will work out too...
I just want to pull out my hair right about now... where's my Fairy God Mother to come and wave a wand and make it all go away?!?
Well, I best quit ranting for now...
Signed,
Fatty McFat-fat.
